Happy Birthday, bi bi baby!
A few years ago someone had a dream … of a safe, sex-positive space where bisexual adults could meet and play together freely, and enjoy each other without upsetting anyone else or drawing disapproval or censure.
That dream is now a reality. On a recent Saturday night fifty people got together at bi bi baby to celebrate its second birthday. bi bi baby’s success is largely down to the hard work and dedication of its organiser. In the early days he was supported by a core group of friends who attended regularly and by being comfortable with each other and welcoming to new people, helped the atmosphere to be relaxed and friendly. Now, two years on, bi bi baby draws people in from far and wide, people who don’t intersect with the bi community as we know it in any other spaces.
So how does he do it? Certainly not by advertising only in the bi/gay press. bi bi baby is also advertised in straight places and this policy has paid off in terms of attracting in couples who live mainly in the straight world, but who recognise that one or both have bisexual leanings and want to explore. There is a lot of male-female play going on, but there is also male-male and female-female, though it has to be said that there are fewer females than males most nights.
How safe does it feel? Attendance at a bi bi baby party is by invitation only – the organiser speaks to everyone who expresses an interest to ensure that they understand and are comfortable with the ethos of the club and the kind of things they might see there. This helps to keep the environment very safe – it is an inclusive and welcoming space, very similar to BiCon in this respect, in that you don’t have to be bi to come along and enjoy the ambience. You do, of course, have to be accepting of bisexuality and of men openly playing together as well as women doing so. Straight people, trans people, gay people, all are as welcome, providing they know how to behave and don’t react inappropriately to anyone while in the club. Prices are kept very reasonable, partly to enhance safety: if you haven’t charged the single guy two arms and three legs he might not come in feeling that he is owed some action! As the organiser says, all that you have paid for is the right to enter – things might happen for you but nothing is guaranteed. This is a diverse club and it attracts people of all ages, sizes and colours! One access issue that is impossible to resolve in its current venue however is for wheelchair users: sadly, there are steep stairs which must be negotiated before gaining entry. No lift is available, nor are there any adapted toilet facilities.
The one other drawback is the lack of showers, although antibacterial body wipes are freely available. Apart from that, this is a well equipped and comfortable club boasting a large socialising area with a dance floor, comfortable seating and relaxed background music. People feel comfortable meeting and chatting in this area, getting to know each other a little. There is also a kitchen where refreshments are served at very reasonable prices (soft drinks, tea, coffee £1) and if you have special dietary needs you are very welcome to bring your own supplies and use one of the fridges to store things while in the club. There is no alcohol license which has the dual benefits that you are welcome to bring your own if you choose to do so, and that the police cannot gain entry without a warrant! Not that the local police are unaware of the club – they have come in and know what it’s all about.
As well as the main social room there is a small cinema showing adult movies which is kept dark – the boys especially seem to enjoy this room. There is also a fairly large room with a bed where people who want to can play openly and others can happily observe or even join in if all are happy for them to do so. Another room has two smaller, lockable bedrooms off it which can be used for more private, intimate moments.
What about health and safety? Condoms and lube are supplied as well as cleaning sprays and paper towel rolls so that surfaces can be cleaned off before others use them. The organiser is always around and encourages anyone with concerns to approach him so that he can sort out any problems.
I’ve been enjoying this club for a year now and I can honestly say it’s a fabulous night out and I’ve never felt safer in a sex play environment than I do here. You can find out more about the club at www.bibibaby.co.uk (not safe for work).