Recently my partner and I took part in a TV talk show on the topic of Bisexuality. I don’t know yet how it will be edited, but overall I think that a range of bisexuals was represented and in a positive light.
The taping was a little nerve-racking – a reminder of how different my worldview and experience is from most of the rest of my culture. Some of the questions put to me by researchers in the run up to the show really confused me, as I think my answers did them. We had a go-round about whether you could call yourself bisexual if you were attracted to more than one gender and hadn’t had sex with more than one gender. By the time we’d worked out whether we were talking about getting to label yourself anything you liked vs. how I defined bisexuality (attraction) vs. how she seemed to define bisexuality (sex), we were on to Is Bisexuality a Lifestyle? (No, I am more than my attractions; if I weren’t, my bits would be sore.) And then we were on to whether my polyamory had anything at all to do with bisexuality.
I would have said the focus of the show was relationship styles, and bisexuals happened to display them. Those planning the show might have said the focus was affairs (ooh) and biSEXuality (ooh). On the average Wednesday, I kiss my (male) partner in the morning, attempt to arrive at work dry, on time and awake, and go to a gay women’s group in the evening.
Sometimes, when the magic scheduling 8 ball comes up YES all round, I see a lover over the weekend. The show reminded me that my regular everyday life causes titillation (and maybe education), and hence entertainment, for other people. The whole thing has made me grateful, again, to have a bisexual and bi-friendly community. You provide the comfort that lets me always see myself as just another person. Thanks.
This originally appeared in BCN issue 64, November 2003.